ParentingDiabeticKids.com

Deana Herrera Walker says

Balancing "being normal" and good diabetes control is a balancing act that is probably one of the most challenging for parents of young children with diabetes.  I have found throughout my years with diabetes, personally and professionally, that the emotional effect of diabetes is sometimes more important than the medical effect.  For example, many parents are so focused on a particular BG number or A1c (rightfully so) that the "other" factor of diabetes (the emotional one) is secondary.  I find that when those children grow up, they rebel and want nothing to do with "the number".  They go out of their way to be "normal" at any expense.
 
Thankfully, while growing up with diabetes, I was never really deprived of any food (within limits of course).  (Then again, should any parent, regardless of having diabetes allow their children to have 10 cookies instead of 2?)  Now, with my daughter, I try and do the same.  As an example, they had a "feast" the other day at school.  It was really important for her to be a part of it. So, I asked to be there (or you can ask the school nurse to be there in your place if you are not able to attend) and just bolused for the "feast".  That way, she felt like she didn't miss out on anything but still came home with a "normal" blood sugar number.
 
Maybe your daughter could have eggs (or another "no carb" food) at school with her friends?  She would still be participating in the fun without compromising her health.

With all this said, I KNOW this is not easy!!!  We all must remember that, for the most part, what we ask our children with diabetes to eat should be no different than what any "good" parent should expect of their children without diabetes.  So often, we feel bad or guilty about what we are "depriving" them of.  When you really think about it, Americans would be a lot healthier if they ate like our children with diabetes.  Just something to think about......

Hope this helps!!
All my best

Laura Plunkett says

My son Danny got Type 1 at age 7 and is now 15. I get many emails from families dealing with this issue, and I have to say that the majority are from mothers of girls age 8 or 9 up to 17 or 18. This time in a girl’s life is a very difficult gauntlet to pass through in our current school culture. There is enormous pressure to conform and “be normal” at a time when girls are trying to figure out who they are as individuals and find their inner compass. My daughter Jess is now in college, but I clearly remember her fear of being marked as different and her stories about the girls who were targeted.
 
There are probably many reasons that your daughter wants to eat breakfast with her friends while not admitting it to her mother. At junctures such as this, I always try to approach it from a team point of view. This is an excellent opportunity to show that honesty is safe and met with support. Most important is her faith that her parents are on her side and trying to both keep her safe and healthy while helping her meet her goals. Even at the age of 8, she can brainstorm with her parents about how to incorporate sitting down with her friends for breakfast. She could bring a healthy snack to school and eat that with her friends. She could skip home breakfast and just eat with her friends by getting insulin from the school nurse, if there is a full time school nurse.
 
I remember the year that Danny hid some of his Halloween candy and secretly ate some each night before bed. We couldn’t figure out where the highs were coming from and kept increasing the insulin dose. Finally, I found him with a fist full of chocolate that was melting between his fingers. As a parent, sometimes humor is the best answer, and we ended up having a good laugh at the absurdity of the dripping chocolate. After he cleaned up, I sat with him and explained my role as his helper and advocate. I explained that I couldn’t keep him safe if he didn’t tell me the truth. In this case, he could have had dangerous lows if he had skipped a night of sneaking! We agreed that if he was having a sugar craving and just needed something sweet I would be sure to keep chocolate on hand, but that we would bolus for it.
 
This is all good stuff to insure a foundation of trust and communication before hitting the teen years. The reward is that my six-foot tall son comes home after being with his friends and admits he had “way too many carbs and not enough will power” and asks me to check him during the night so he won’t go too low from all the bolusing.

Also, he cares enough about his health and his body not to drink alcohol or take risks that his peers are taking, and he isn’t shy in telling his friends about the risks of drinking alcohol with diabetes. If your daughter can see that you are there to help her take care of her diabetes while she is trying to fit in by helping her work out her issues, it may also open up conversations about the quality of school food and the reasons for making good choices.
 
As you know, the stakes get higher as they get older and this is the time to give your kids lots of alternatives to hiding the truth.
 
I hope this is helpful,